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But, it just feels like home.

February 1, 2013

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Recently I have returned to a rigorous exercise routine because I’m not really comfortable with my “comfort body,” if you know what I mean. Amidst the company of formidable exercise routines such as Physique 57 and “running” is the group yoga class, to which I’ve recently returned. Many people (celebs abound!) tout yoga as their physical/mental savior. Ne’er would I state the contrary, but perhaps only adjust the methods…

Anywho, group yoga classes…after my years of training ended, so ended my romance with group yoga classes. I largely declined going to them as I found fault with almost every teacher (and yet, hoping my interaction in a group setting would be BECAUSE I was the teacher.) I dabbled intermittently, but nothing has really taken with me in about a year in either New York or San Francisco. I don’t want to say that there is a particular studio or class that has actually reeled me in (as of yet) but I think it is safe to say that I’m on the prowl.

I used to LOVE group classes (granted, I did not know there was another option.) Now, isolated from a yoga community, I am once again relishing my time with “like minded” individuals. It is so refreshing to be in the company of people united toward one goal, even if it is small and temporary. There is a palpable energy in the space in time that is a yoga class. The energy level itself tends to vary, but there is something greater that is a constant. I’ve been semi-regularly attending classes at Satori downtown and have very much enjoyed myself. I surely get a much more varied class than I do for myself, which is in and of itself refreshing, but there is something more that is less tangible. I’m having trouble defining it but on the surface it feels positive.

Having the initial feeling of a positive nature I hesitate to (gasp) examine this feeling too closely…but…could it be ego? (double gasp!)

There are many different individuals that might attend the same yoga class at any one time so it is hard to say. These people represent diverse backgrounds, goals and abilities…but could the one item that unites be ego? Why do we go to yoga classes? Is it not for some self betterment? If it isn’t, then kudos to you Siddartha. I can only speak for myself, but I practice solely for self improvement. At present, I can’t even utter the word “liberation” without a shuddering realization that it is a fairytale for yours truly. So, I go to yoga classes to improve and even in my greatly diminished state I can seem to find some reason to think that my awesomeness is apparent in a group setting. Perhaps my pathetic weak legs cannot make it for sustained periods in warrior 2, but check my grace. I’m excellent. My body’s tightness and weakness has been humbling in recent months, but I still seem to feel like I “shine” and during a group yoga class and there are people there to ensure that I will try and to see the results.

The above is probably the pessimist’s guide to life. Perhaps like minded individuals are our best mirrors and guides for self improvement. Maybe together, we all become better. Maybe in the short time we commune, we improve as a group and improve the world on the whole. Perhaps my imperfections become yours (sorry!), and yours mine, but more importantly we share each other’s strengths and beauty. 

Dharma Chameleon’s strength is not in answers, but in questions. Apologies. All I know is that I’ll be coming to a studio near you in the near future…to share…my virtues? my ego? who knows; its a mixed bag.

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