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I hate February (and January, March, and April)

January 19, 2010

I started my yogic fervor in the summer at a Bikram studio. What can I say, I like  consistency. 100 degrees inside and outside the studio. Needless to say, a lot of people in the city don’t feel the same way, and the studios are usually pretty spacious, even at rush hour.

My first year, I found the first couple of months of the year to be in shocking opposition to those blissful summer months of hot yoga squared.  I don’t know where these people come from, but they come out of the wood work starting the week after New Years.

First of all, don’t even go to the studio if you’re not going to be 30 minute early or haven’t signed in days in advance. If you’re dim enough to do it, or just haven’t been made aware of the winter months’ craziness, then I feel sorry for you. At the Bikram Flatiron studio you will not even be allowed into the studio, but you will be corralled in the stairwell and given a number. Once you get through the whole “entering the studio” bit, then you have the herculean task of staking your claim on mat space.

Hopefully, you got a good stretch in and have been slowly increasing your ability to bench press double your body weight because you will need it. Venomous and over-zealous bikram yogis and yoginis will spring upon you and swiftly go for the jugular. There will be gnashing and wailing. The seven seals will burst open and Christ will come again for the faithful.

I’m serious. It’s like that.

Anyway, you heard it first hear, and you know I’m pre-registered for classes. So, well, you snooze you loose. Keep your paws of my 7:45 Bikram yoga class slot, or else.

I hate February, anticipatively. I hate January currently. And, just to be safe, I’ll hate March and April futuristically.

[Image via: Simpsons Crazy]

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