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I’ve got hoes in different area codes…

November 4, 2009

ludacrisIt unfortunately must be said that many of the most functional yogis have taken a page or two out of the playa’s handbook. In my life I find that, not unlike hoes, I cannot live with only one yoga studio in my life.

Say I’m at the club, and I want a quicky. My hoe is not at the club, I need a hoe and and need a hoe now. I slap the first sweet piece of ass that I see and I take her with me (if I’m Ludacris)…bathroom, lounge, champagne room. The name of the game is convenience and to amass as many hoes as humanly possible. Life with yoga, very similar.

My place of employ is in Gramercy Park. Not only do I center my yoga practice around that, but I’ve even made all of my doctor choices and banking locations central to work. That said, unfortunately (very much so) I do not live in Gramercy Park (DAMN! For that matter, I can neither get into nor out of GP). Park Slope is where I hang my hat.

Now, Park Slope doesn’t have nearly as many studios to offer as even Union Square alone (stay tuned, I plan on counting all of the studios within 3 square blocks of US) but it does have a good smattering of them. My yogic life on the weekend is enabled thusly.

Here is a brief glance at the hoes in Pslopes:

Park Slope Yoga Center: Two studios for the price of one! Since my interest has turned outward from Bikram yoga I’ve been able to get a taste of  other studios. PSYC is right in Center Slope on Union Street between 6th and 7th Avenues. It has two studios that face each other,  the main studio is over the Dixon’s Bike Shop(you can hear some very colorful conversation from the Jamaicans that run the place during savasana) and Devi is right across the street. Aside from standard Hatha and Vinyasa flow classes, PSYC offers a handful of Jivamukti classes. Now, I’ve only taken one Jivamukti class at the Jivamukti studio but it is a very stylized practice and I must say that at PSYC I got to flow through the Pixies. That was kind of awesome. The final added bonus of this studio is its proximity to the Park Slope Food Coop. If any of you, dear readers, have shopped there you may agreed that a post coop yoga de-stress/decompress experience is highly necessary. UNHAND MY GODDAMNED ORGANIC VEGETABLES AND GET THE FUCK OUT MY WAY AS I FILL THIS  BAG WITH GLUTEN FREE ORGANIC PARTY MIX!!!

Bikram Park Slope: Now, arguably the best thing about Bikram is that it is more or less the exact same practice no matter where you do it. BPS has two locations. I have never been to its Flatbush location, as I was scared away by my roommate. She described a pretty horrendous scene of ripe bodies bumping up against  one another due to small size; so, I avoided it like the plague since Bikram is already uncomfortable enough. Of course, this first location is not indicative at all of the South Slope studio. I’ve practiced in many Bikram studios in NYC, and also in  one in Florida, oddly enough. Bikram Yoga South Slope is my absolute favorite studio. If you ask me (which by being on the blog at all you effectively did) the heat is just right and the studio is beautiful both architecturally speaking and design-wise.  They have spa showers with colossal heads and pretty tiling.  Good heat, good showers, nuff said.

Bend & Bloom Yoga: Again, I do so little yoga in my neighborhood that I haven’t had a chance to get to this one even though it’s not far from home. I’ve only seen the space from the outside and stalked them on the interwebs, but it looks absolutely adorable. So adorable even, that I’m pretty sure it’s fairly new. They seem to have a good offering of classes; most of them are some sort of Vinyasa  but they’ve got a female-centric class and also something intriguing called “Forrest Yoga” for detoxing. And yes, in true Park Slope style they’ve got something for the growing family—lots of PRENATAL and yoga for kids! Forget the babysitter, let the stroller wars being – onward, family, to yoga!

Yogasana: I have never been to this studio, but it was one of the first in the ‘hood that I noticed because it was a glass store front window on St. Marks and 5th Ave. I couldn’t really picture how well classes would be conducted in that space, but apparently not very well as they are moving to a new location on 3rd Ave. 3rd Ave is a little bit of a hike for me, unless of course, they’re moving to 3rd Ave and 4th Street…then it might be feasible. Looking at their courses, I’m as pleased as ever that I can practice yoga with a baby on my hip or in my stomach (anyone have one to loan?) but  I’m even more interested in the Back Care class. I recently started acupuncture again to treat my jacked up lower back. Back pain in 25 years olds is so sad.

Bodhisattva: Other than this place being right next to my favorite Russian hair salon and spa (where someone man-handled my ass for 1 hour while intermittently taking calls on her cell), the dude who started it is called Vivekin. That’s pretty much all I’ve got on this one at this point because I haven’t been. Their schedule seems to offer a solid menu of standard classes.

You can pretty much blame that hoe Park Slope Yoga Center from keeping me from my other prospects since they flim-flammed me into buying a package the first time I went there ( I will NEVER turn down a bargain) but I plan on making my way around to these easy access (from home) locations soon. I no longer have ties to PSYC so it’s anybody’s guess where I’ll go next.  For that matter, I may have even missed a studio and one day I’ll be walking and that insatiable urge will flare up again and there it will be — another new studio.

I sure do get around.

[Image via: Ludacris]

One Comment leave one →
  1. Kaitlin permalink
    November 11, 2009 10:06 am

    B&B is terrific. Nice studio, good instructors, but unfortch I have not been there in a while. There was a little too much emphasis on inversion poses which freak me out. Too much, too soon.

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