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October 27, 2009

 nudie yoga

Naturally since committing to the naked yoga mission, I have researched (avoiding) that committment.

I’m pretty interested in (horrified by) the concept of being butt naked among many and contorting myself . It seems like a very important (devastating) excercise in self exploration.

To deepen my understanding  of this new and gravitational yoga practice (stalling…) I have done a bit more research on it.

Some phenomenal tidbits I picked up along the way during my search include but are not limited to:

-A shower being requested prior to practicing naked yoga. Very interesting to me. This seems practical and impractical all at once. It would be absolutely horrific to be next to stinky crotch lady or guy who just took a poo and didn’t wipe well enough, but what if there’s not a shower at the facility? Perhaps the best solution is those travel wipes and more conscientious toilet practices. Also, deodorant. Don’t get me wrong though, I’m pro-shower. I’m just pragmatic. According to an Austin studio, “cleanliness is a gift to your partners. ” Additionally, you should adorn your crotch or nipples with bows to stick with the gift theme.

– “There is no sexual activity at naked yoga nor is there intentional genital focus or contact” – Austin Naked Yoga. Ok, so clearly, I’m not going to Austin Naked Yoga, but also clearly I’m not going to Austin Naked Yoga. The fact that they use the word intentional just screams afoul to me.  Woops, I just grazed your vagina with my finger tips as I adjusted your down dog. Oh my, i just tea bagged you as I deepened your spinal twist.

-This also from Austin Naked Yoga: “Erections are natural and okay, but are rare.  In yoga, the mind and body are actively practicing yoga and most of your energy is going towards supporting the yoga practice, not an erection.  Also, part of this experience is learning not to be ashamed of your body and learning to integrate your experience as a complete human being. Bodies do what they will. It’s an opportunity to be kind and accepting toward yourself and others.” So now may be an appropriate time to remind you all that “Marla” is a name common only to the female gender and thus, as I am not of a hermaphroditic nature, I do not have a penis and cannot have an erection. That said, can you imagine this scene: dude is in full wheel. Dude pops a full size bonafide boner. Turns to you, “accept me as I am, accept my boner.” End scene. No, this is not uncomfortable at all.

I know you may be thinking, “why is she getting so carried away with Austin Naked Yoga?” Well, it had the most pertinent information for the most part. It is a co-ed place, which I’ve recently discovered is also the case with the Phoenix Temple (the New York studio that I plan on gracing with my nekkedness), and so experiences there will presumably be similar based on pure human nature. Phoenix Temple seems a little bit more goddessy, so maybe I should be less scared…but the skinny on naked yoga is still a little intimidating.

Hopefully, the next time I’ve posted I’ll be airing my dirty laundry. Or conspicuous lack there of.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. polynesian69 permalink
    October 28, 2009 12:21 am

    Best thing about Naked Yoga is No Stinky Clothes.

  2. moodle permalink
    October 28, 2009 9:27 pm

    I am intrigued by giftwrapping!!
    I laughed heartily at this post!! I CAN’T WAIT to hear about yourfirst NAKED experience.

  3. November 8, 2009 9:39 pm

    I live life in the nude when I’m alone at home and I still found this post very funny. Stinky crotches! Have fun.

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