File under: Excuses

There are plenty of things you can do instead of yoga. Some of my favorites include: not sleeping well, getting a headache, applying for graduate school, juggling 5 different jobs at once, having visitors, going on internet dates, general existential struggle, arts and crafts, Twitter, and spending all my yoga money on groceries and utility bills.

If I had actually made it to a yoga class at some point in the last, oh, four weeks, I wouldn’t have let myself turn into a little ball of stress and anxiety. A month off the mat, and my shoulders are permanatly scrunched up and located somewhere east and west of my ears, and I can feel myself going all squishy. But yoga isn’t totally off my mind — at the Kylie Minogue show in NYC this Sunday, I had this moment where I realized she and her robot dancers were doing these kind of cactus poses. I mean, if Kylie can work some yoga into her stage show, couldn’t I at least get my ass to class?

I’ll go, I swear, just as soon as I finish my robot costume.

[Photo: AP]